Professions

Accountants

Accountants are top dollar !

Accountants work their assets off !

C.P.A. -- Certified Pain in the A** !!!

I'm an accountant...not a magician !

Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

Architects

Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.

Banker

I used to be a banker....but I lost interest .

Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

Bookkeepers

Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.

Bosses

Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.

Bus Drivers

Anyone can drive a car but it takes someone special to be a school bus driver.

Bus drivers are the driving force to a good education

Bus drivers are the only people whose troubles are all behind them.

Card Players

Old card players never die.....they just shuffle away !

Carpenters

Carpenters are just plane folks.

Cashiers

Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

Chauffeurs

Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.

Chemists

Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.

Cleaning People

Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

Crafters

Old crafters never die, they just get more bazaar.

Deans

Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.

Dentists

The Boss of the Floss

Divers

Divers do it underwater !!

Doctors

Doctors do it with Patience !

Old doctors never die, they just lose their patients.

Electricians

Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.

Hardware Engineers

Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.

Horticulturists

Old horticulturists never die, they just go to pot.

Investors

Old investors never die, they just roll over.

Journalists

Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.

Lawyers

Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.

Mathematicians

Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.

Ministers

Old ministers never die.....they just go out to pastor !

Musicians

Old musicians never die.....they just decompose !

Painters

A painters work is never done.

If I paint fast enough....does it count as aerobic exercise?

There is a time to be born and a time to die. A time to laugh and a time to cry, but there never seems to be enough time to paint.

Photographers

Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

Pilots

Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

Pilots are just "plane" people with a special "air" about them !

Policemen

Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

Politicians

Our politicians are in complete control of things It's the situation that's out of hand.

Postmen

Old postmen never die....they just lose their zip !

Printers

Old printers never die, they're just no the type.

Programmers

Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.

Psychiatrists

Psychiatrists never die, they just shrink away.

Quarterbacks

Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

Sailors

Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.

Secretaries

Secretaries do it by the book.

This isn't a desk....it's a landfill !!

Sewage Workers

Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

School Bus Drivers

School Bus Drivers are big wheels !

Skiers

Skiers do it in the water !!

Steel makers

Old steel makers never die, they just lose their temper.

Tanners

Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.

Taxidermists

Tell me to stuff it....I'm a taxidermist.

"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

The taxidermist takes only your skin". (Mark Twain)

Weatherman

Climate is what you expect...weather is what you get.. !!