Military

Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?” the officer demanded. “No, sir, but it's not the same thing, is it?” “What do you mean, 'not the same'?” “Well, we don't land airplanes on our roof at home either!”

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little while longer. - U.S. Navy Seabees

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

“You, you, and you: Panic. The rest of you, come with me.”

Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

Five second fuses only last three seconds.

Who *cares* if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

The easy way is always mined.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

Push to test... Release to detonate.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. When you're ready for them. 2. When you're not ready for them.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

Friendly fire - isn't.

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. - Paul Rodriguez

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.