Diets

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

A balanced diet is two hands in the honey pot.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Brain cells come and brain cells go...but fat cells last forever.

Broken cookies...have no calories..!!

By the time I'm thin, fat will be in.

Dieting is the penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Dieting is wishful shrinking...!!

Diet Rule #2 Never weigh more than your refrigerator !

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Everything tastes good when you're on a diet.

Ewe is fluffy !!

Ewes not fat....ewes fluffy !!

God must have loved calories....he made so many of them !!

Hey, I'm not fat! I'm just a nutritional overachiever.

How can I go on a diet? The fridge is still full !

How to lose weight....eat stuff you hate !!

I am built for comfort, not speed.

I don't have an eating problem. I eat....I get fat. I buy new clothes. No Problem !

I just ate my will power!

I keep trying to lose weight...but it keeps finding me! It'll never find me this time !!

I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can diet !

I was cut out to be thin... But God sewed me up wrong !

I'd give up chocolate... but I'm not a quitter !!

If you gain five pounds....it's water. If you lose five pounds....it's weight.

I'm not fat....I'm fluffy !!

If stress burned calories...I would be a size 3 !!

I'm not overweight...I'm under tall !!

I'm on the 30 day diet....so far I've lost 12 days.

I've been on a diet for two weeks. So far ... I've all I've lost is fourteen days !

Let's go on a starvation diet...no chocolate for 24 hours.

Lord...if I can't be skinny...Please make all my friends fat !!!

Lord, if I must get my just desserts, please make them chocolate.

Milk does the body good, but DAMN.... How much did you drink ?!?

Most people eat to live....I live to eat !

My new diet goal: to weigh what my drivers license says.

Never eat more than you can lift. (Miss Piggy)

No diet is impossible....hopeless maybe....but not impossible !

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

One should eat to live, not live to eat !!

Sad fact....square meals make round people !!

Some do Richard Simmons, some do Jane Fonda, I do Sara Lee !!

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Taste makes waist !

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Those who indulge.....bulge !!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Wake me up when I am a size 5!!!

We have more food to eat than any other people in the world, and more diets to keep us from eating it.