Middle Age

Getting old is now chick. The rustic look is in.

Remember, the tea kettle still whistles at you.

You'll still get a little action when your prune juice starts working.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Senility is a good thing. You're always meeting new friends.

You're now somewhere between the Young and the Restless and the Old and the Senseless.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

You can now quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

Wrinkles are just antique smiles. You're very valuable.

At your age, you've seen it all, done it all and heard it all. Luckily you can't remember most of it.

Just because you're getting older that doesn't mean you have to grow up.

One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about whatever it was you forgot.

Look on the bright side. At least wrinkles don't hurt. Unless you trip over them!

Middle age is all the rage.

Age isn't important unless you're cheese or wine.

You're aged to perfection!

At least it is a hill and not a mountain.

Hang in there, retirement is only 25 years away!

Finally things will start clicking for you. . . your back, neck, elbows, knees.

Now you start thinking about the hereafter... you go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what am I here after!

Forty is not old – if you’re a California Redwood.

Now it's early to bed, early to rise, 'til you get so old you have to do otherwise.

You don't need to avoid temptation. It now avoids you.

You don't have to worry about the police telling you to slow down now, just the doctor.

You're just 18 with 22 years experience.

Age doesn't matter. It's ugly you have to watch out for.

You're entering the metallic years: Silver in your hair, gold in your teeth and lead in your bottom.

Don't worry about senility. When it hits you, you won't know it.

Age is a matter of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Hang on! You've reached that age when everything either wears out, spreads out or falls out.

Old age and treachery easily beat out youth and vigor any day.

You're not old. You just became a classic.

Your belt may not buckle but your knees will.

Your actions now creak louder than words.

Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.

No more health foods. You now need all the preservatives you can get.

Be nice to your kids. They pick your nursing home.

You're not old. You're vintage!

You are only old once -- enjoy it!