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Satire and humor
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|---|---|
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 1 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 1 “Altho I hankerd intensly arter the objeck of my affecshuns, I darsunt tell her of the fires which was rajin in my manly Buzzum. I'd try to do it but my tung would kerwollup up agin…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 7 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 7 “To the youth of Ameriky it would be vallyble as showin how high a pinnykle of fame a man can reach who commenst his career with a small canvas tent and a pea-green ox, which he rub…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 6 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 6 “I became a man. I haven't distinguished myself at all as an artist--but I have always been more or less mixed up with Art. I have an uncle who takes photographs--and I have a serva…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 5 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 5 “"This North American has been a inmate of my 'ouse over two weeks, yit he hasn't made no attempt to scalp any member of my fam'ly. He hasn't broke no cups or sassers, or furnitur o…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 4 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 4 “In our boat is an inebriated United States official, who flings his spectacles overboard, and sings a flippant and absurd song about his grandmother's spotted calf, with his ri-fol…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 3 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 3 “He had bin to France and now he was home agin in Bostin, which gave birth to a Bunker Hill!! He had some trouble in gitting hisself acknowledged as Juke in France, as the Orleans D…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Artemus Ward | The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 2 — Artemus Ward |
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 2 “Weathersfield is justly celebrated for her onyins and patritism the world over, and to be axed to paws and address you on this my fust perfeshernal tower threw New Englan, causes m…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque, Volume 2 — Edgar Allan Poe |
Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque, Volume 2 “Wid that we wint aff to the widdy's, next door, and ye may well say it was an illigant place -- so it was. There was a carpet all over the floor, and in one corner there was a fort…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | The Balloo- Hoax — Edgar Allan Poe |
The Balloo- Hoax “Note, written by Poe on his Arrival in Baltimore.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | The Business Man — Edgar Allan Poe |
The Business Man “Whenever a rich old hunks or prodigal heir or bankrupt corporation gets into the notion of putting up a palace, there is no such thing in the world as stopping either of them, and …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | Bon-Bon — Edgar Allan Poe |
Bon-Bon “I have said that "to enter the Cafe in the cul-de-sac Le Febvre was to enter the sanctum of a man of genius" but then it was only the man of genius who could duly estimate the meri…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | Diddling. Considered As One Of The Exact Sciences. — Edgar Allan Poe |
Diddling. Considered As One Of The Exact Sciences. “A very good diddle is this. A housekeeper in want of a sofa, for instance, is seen to go in and out of several cabinet warehouses. At length she arrives at one offering an excellen…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | Four Beasts In One: The Homo-Cameleopard — Edgar Allan Poe |
Four Beasts In One: The Homo-Cameleopard “True -- a baboon; but by no means the less a deity. His name is a derivation of the Greek Simia -- what great fools are antiquarians! But see! -- see! -- yonder scampers a ragged l…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | How To Write A Blackwood Article — Edgar Allan Poe |
How To Write A Blackwood Article “"Having determined upon your subject, you must next consider the tone, or manner, of your narration. There is the tone didactic, the tone enthusiastic, the tone natural--all common…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | A Tale Of Jerusalem — Edgar Allan Poe |
A Tale Of Jerusalem “"Now, by the five corners of my beard!" shouted the Pharisee, who belonged to the sect called The Dashers (that little knot of saints whose manner of dashing and lacerating the fee…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Edgar Allan Poe | Some Words With A Mummy. — Edgar Allan Poe |
Some Words With A Mummy. “The application of electricity to a mummy three or four thousand years old at the least, was an idea, if not very sage, still sufficiently original, and we all caught it at once. A…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Ellis Parker Butler | Kilo — Ellis Parker Butler |
Kilo “"It brings in seven dollars a year to the town," said Pap, "an' that's better than payin' out good money for statuary. I'm agin high taxes every time. It costs too much to live, an…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Ellis Parker Butler | Pigs is Pigs — Ellis Parker Butler |
Pigs is Pigs “Mr. Morehouse went home raging. His boy, who had been awaiting the guinea-pigs, knew better than to ask him for them. He was a normal boy and therefore always had a guilty conscien…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Ellis Parker Butler | The Water Goats and Other Troubles — Ellis Parker Butler |
The Water Goats and Other Troubles “When I had left the poor woman with her no-longer-starving baby I hurriedly glanced into a store window, and by the clock there saw it was twenty minutes of one and that I had exac…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Irvin S Cobb | Speaking of Operations — Irvin S Cobb |
Speaking of Operations “If an operation is such a good thing to talk about, why isn't it a good thing to write about, too? That is what I wish to know. Besides, I need the money. Verily, one always needs …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Irvin S Cobb | A Plea For Old Cap Collier — Irvin S Cobb |
A Plea For Old Cap Collier “The basic reason, the underlying motive, lay in the fact that in the schoolbooks of our adolescence, and notably in the school readers, our young mentalities were fed forcibly on a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Irvin S Cobb | Cobb's Anatomy — Irvin S Cobb |
Cobb's Anatomy “In the main, though, we are born without teeth. We are born without a number of things--clothes for example--although Anthony Comstock is said to be pushing a law requiring all chi…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Irvin S Cobb | Europe Revised — Irvin S Cobb |
Europe Revised “Riding behind Pearl you uttered the talismanic word in the thinnest thread of a whisper and instantly she stopped. You could spell Whoa! on your fingers, and she would stop. You co…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Three Men in a Boat — Jerome K Jerome |
Three Men in a Boat “Rather an amusing thing happened while dressing that morning. I was very cold when I got back into the boat, and, in my hurry to get my shirt on, I accidentally jerked it into the …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Told After Supper — Jerome K Jerome |
Told After Supper “(Do not ask me how it is that I recollect his own exact words-- whether I took them down in shorthand at the time, or whether he had the story written out, and handed me the MS. af…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Three Men on the Bummel — Jerome K Jerome |
Three Men on the Bummel “"No," I said, "the thing is to be frank and manly. I shall tell Ethelbertha that I have come to the conclusion a man never values happiness that is always with him. I shall tell he…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Tommy and Co. — Jerome K Jerome |
Tommy and Co. “Mrs. Postwhistle, who, in the days of her Hebehood, had been likened by admiring frequenters of the old Mitre in Chancery Lane to the ladies, somewhat emaciated, that an English ar…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Paul Kelver — Jerome K Jerome |
Paul Kelver “Fate intended me for a singularly fortunate man. Properly, I ought to have been born in June, which being, as is well known, the luckiest month in all the year for such events, sho…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | John Ingerfield and Other Stories — Jerome K Jerome |
John Ingerfield and Other Stories “Wild-reindeer stalking is hardly so exciting a sport as the evening's verandah talk in Norroway hotels would lead the trustful traveller to suppose. Under the charge of your guide,…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Idle Ideas in 1905 — Jerome K Jerome |
Idle Ideas in 1905 “Pretty women are going to have a hard time of it later on. Hitherto, they have had things far too much their own way. In the future there are going to be no pretty girls, for the s…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Evergreens — Jerome K Jerome |
Evergreens “In the mellow days of autumn, when the trees, like dames no longer young, seek to forget their aged looks under gorgeous bright-toned robes of gold and brown and purple, and the gr…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Clocks — Jerome K Jerome |
Clocks “There are two kinds of clocks. There is the clock that is always wrong, and that knows it is wrong, and glories in it; and there is the clock that is always right--except when you …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green — Jerome K Jerome |
Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green “The fault that most people will find with this story is that it is unconvincing. Its scheme is improbable, its atmosphere artificial. To confess that the thing really happened--not…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Cost of Kindness — Jerome K Jerome |
The Cost of Kindness “"Kindness," argued little Mrs. Pennycoop, "costs nothing."/"And, speaking generally, my dear, is valued precisely at cost price," retorted Mr. Pennycoop, who, as an auctioneer of t…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Dreams — Jerome K Jerome |
Dreams “It is "those twin-jailers of the daring" thought, Knowledge and Experience, that teach us surprise. We are surprised and incredulous when, in novels and plays, we come across good …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Soul of Nicholas Snyders — Jerome K Jerome |
The Soul of Nicholas Snyders “"Think of it," continued the strange pedlar, before Nicholas could recover power of speech. "For forty years you have drunk the joy of being mean and cruel. Are you not tired of th…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Philosopher's Joke — Jerome K Jerome |
The Philosopher's Joke “Myself, I do not believe this story. Six persons are persuaded of its truth; and the hope of these six is to convince themselves it was an hallucination. Their difficulty is there …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Mrs. Korner Sins Her Mercies — Jerome K Jerome |
Mrs. Korner Sins Her Mercies “How it came about Mr. Korner was never able to fully satisfy himself. Mr. Korner was not the type that serves the purpose of the temperance lecturer. His "first glass" he had drunk…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Novel Notes — Jerome K Jerome |
Novel Notes “"It is a terribly sad reflection," remarked MacShaughnassy, musingly; "but what a desperately dull place this earth would be if it were not for our friends the bad people. Do you k…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Love of Ulrich Nebendahl — Jerome K Jerome |
The Love of Ulrich Nebendahl “Perhaps of all, it troubled most the Herr Pfarrer. Was he not the father of the village? And as such did it not fall to him to see his children marry well and suitably? marry in an…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Passing of the Third Floor Back — Jerome K Jerome |
Passing of the Third Floor Back “The constable at the corner, trying to seem busy doing nothing, noticed the stranger's approach with gathering interest. "That's an odd sort of a walk of yours, young man," thought…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | All Roads Lead to Calvary — Jerome K Jerome |
All Roads Lead to Calvary “"All roads lead to Calvary." It was curious how the words had dwelt with her, till gradually they had become a part of her creed. She remembered how at first they had seemed to her…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | Malvina of Brittany — Jerome K Jerome |
Malvina of Brittany “Malvina appears to have been interested in watching what she probably regarded as some novel breed of dragon being nourished from tins extricated from under her feet, but to have a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Angel and the Author — Jerome K Jerome |
The Angel and the Author “I had a vexing dream one night, not long ago: it was about a fortnight after Christmas. I dreamt I flew out of the window in my nightshirt. I went up and up. I was glad that I was …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jerome K Jerome | The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow — Jerome K Jerome |
The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow “Do not blame me, Ladies, the fault lies with you. Every right-thinking man is an universal lover; how could it be otherwise? You are so diverse, yet each so charming of your kind; …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | A Tale of A Tub — Jonathan Swift |
A Tale of A Tub “These men seem, though very erroneously, to have understood the appellation of critic in a literal sense; that one principal part of his office was to praise and acquit; and that a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | A Proposal for Correcting, Improving, and Ascertaining the English Tongue — Jonathan Swift |
A Proposal for Correcting, Improving, and Ascertaining the English Tongue “There is another Sett of Men who have contributed very must to the spoiling of the _English_ Tongue; I mean the Poets, from the Time of the Restoration. These Gentlemen, although t…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Predictions For The Year 1708 — Jonathan Swift |
Predictions For The Year 1708 “The month of APRIL will be observable for the death of many great persons. On the 4th will die the Cardinal de Noailles, Archbishop of Paris; on the 11th, the young Prince of Astur…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Lady's Dressing Room — Jonathan Swift |
The Lady's Dressing Room “Which, though with art you salt and beat/As laws of cookery require/And toast them at the clearest fire,/If from adown the hopeful chops/The fat upon the cinder drops,/To stinking …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Abolishing Of Christianity In England — Jonathan Swift |
Abolishing Of Christianity In England “Therefore I freely own, that all appearances are against me. The system of the Gospel, after the fate of other systems, is generally antiquated and exploded, and the mass or body o…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Accomplishment Of The First Of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions — Jonathan Swift |
The Accomplishment Of The First Of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions “"By what I can gather from you," said I, "the observations and predictions you printed with your almanacks were mere impositions on the people." He replied, "If it were otherwise I…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Battle of the Books — Jonathan Swift |
The Battle of the Books “While things were in this ferment, discord grew extremely high; hot words passed on both sides, and ill blood was plentifully bred. Here a solitary Ancient, squeezed up among a who…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Baucis And Philemon — Jonathan Swift |
Baucis And Philemon “He sees, yet hardly can believe,/ About each arm a pudding sleeve;/ His waistcoat to a cassock grew,/ And both assumed a sable hue;/ But being old, continued just/ As thread-bare, …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Beasts' Confession — Jonathan Swift |
The Beasts' Confession “The cringing knave, who seeks a place/ Without success, thus tells his case:/ Why should he longer mince the matter?/ He failed because he could not flatter:/ He had not learned to…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Cadenus And Vanessa — Jonathan Swift |
Cadenus And Vanessa “Wisdom's above suspecting wiles;/ The queen of learning gravely smiles,/ Down from Olympus comes with joy,/ Mistakes Vanessa for a boy;/ Then sows within her tender mind/ Seeds lon…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Lowering the Coins — Jonathan Swift |
Lowering the Coins “Now, Gentlemen, I beg you again to consider, that none of these Persons above-named, can ever suffer the loss of one Farthing by all the Miseries under which the Kingdom groans at …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | A Proposal to Pay off the Debt of the Nation — Jonathan Swift |
A Proposal to Pay off the Debt of the Nation “I have allowed some Bishopricks, of equal Income, to be of more or less Value to the Purchasers, according as they are circumstanced. For Instance: The Lands of the Primacy, and so…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Hints Towards An Essay On Conversation — Jonathan Swift |
Hints Towards An Essay On Conversation “Most things pursued by men for the happiness of public or private life our wit or folly have so refined, that they seldom subsist but in idea; a true friend, a good marriage, a per…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Mrs Frances Harris's Petition — Jonathan Swift |
Mrs Frances Harris's Petition “So when I went to put up my purse, as God would have it, my smock was unripped,/And instead of putting it into my pocket, down it slipped;/ Then the bell rung, and I went down to p…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Logicians Refuted — Jonathan Swift |
The Logicians Refuted “That man and all his ways are vain;/And that this boasted lord of nature/ Is both a weak and erring creature./ That instinct is a surer guide/ Than reason-boasting mortals pride;/ …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | A Maypole — Jonathan Swift |
A Maypole “And though no marriage words are spoke,/They part not till the ring is broke;/Yet hypocrite fanatics cry,/ I'm but an idol raised on high;/And once a weaver in our town,/A damned C…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | A Meditation Upon A Broomstick — Jonathan Swift |
A Meditation Upon A Broomstick “THIS single stick, which you now behold ingloriously lying in that neglected corner, I once knew in a flourishing state in a forest. It was full of sap, full of leaves, and full of…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Place of the Damned — Jonathan Swift |
The Place of the Damned “Damned poets, damned critics, damned blockheads, damned knaves,/ Damned senators bribed, damned prostitute slaves;/ Damned lawyers and judges, damned lords and damned squires;/ Dam…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Puppet Show — Jonathan Swift |
The Puppet Show “This fleeting scene is but a stage,/Where various images appear,/In different parts of youth and age/Alike the prince and peasant share.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | The Sick Lion and the Ass — Jonathan Swift |
The Sick Lion and the Ass “At length a base inglorious ass,/Who saw so many insults pass,/Came up and kicked him in the side:/'Twas this that raised the lion's pride./He roused, and thus he spoke at length,/…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Thoughts On Various Subjects — Jonathan Swift |
Thoughts On Various Subjects “In all well-instituted commonwealths, care has been taken to limit men's possessions; which is done for many reasons, and among the rest, for one which perhaps is not often conside…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Jonathan Swift | Verses on the Death of Doctor Swift — Jonathan Swift |
Verses on the Death of Doctor Swift “That I had some repute for prose;/And till they drove me out of date/Could maul a minister of state./If they have mortified my pride,/And made me throw my pen aside;/ If with such …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | Reginald — Saki |
Reginald “First of the Reginald sketches and tales.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | The Chronicles of Clovis — Saki |
The Chronicles of Clovis “My favorite: The Unrest Cure (maybe you need to do the Charlotte Perkins Gilman thing.)…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | Beasts and Super-Beasts — Saki |
Beasts and Super-Beasts “Wide variation of short-stories here, including seven featuring Clovis.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | The Unbearable Bassington — Saki |
The Unbearable Bassington “Her enemies, in their honester moments, would have admitted that she was svelte and knew how to dress, but they would have agreed with her friends in asserting that she had no soul…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | The Toys of Peace and Other Stories — Saki |
The Toys of Peace and Other Stories “Includes Clovis stories: Louise, Fate, Shock Tactics and The Oversight…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | Reginald in Russia and Other Sketches — Saki |
Reginald in Russia and Other Sketches “Continuing adventures of one of Saki's (H.H. Munro's) favorite characters.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | The Saint and the Goblin — Saki |
The Saint and the Goblin “"Of course YOU can do that," observed the Goblin. "Now, I can only appear to people after they have had a heavy supper of indigestible things. My opportunities with the vergeress w…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Saki | The Unbearable Bassington — Saki |
The Unbearable Bassington “Improved text, supersedes earleir version.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Isaac Bickerstaff |
Isaac Bickerstaff “From Richard Steele, the founder of the Tatler, later the Spectator. Bickerstaff was first used by Jonathan Swift to poke fun.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | A House-Boat on the Styx |
A House-Boat on the Styx “What do you suppose would happen if Charon the Boatman got promoted... to Janitor? By John Kendrick Bangs…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Lunatic at Large |
The Lunatic at Large “One of J.Storer Clouston's comic novels.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Count Bunker |
Count Bunker “Sequel to Clouston's The Lunatic At Large…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | History of John Bull |
History of John Bull “When John first brought out the bills, the surprise of all the family was unexpressible at the prodigious dimensions of them; they would have measured with the best bale of cloth i…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Stage-Land |
Stage-Land “He is always cheerful and always good. We never knew a bad Irishman on the stage. Sometimes a stage Irishman seems to be a bad man--such as the "agent" or the "informer"--but in th…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow |
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow “You've been in love, of course! If not you've got it to come. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Also like the measles, we take it only once. One never need be…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Diary of a Nobody |
The Diary of a Nobody “December 24. - I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning. I never insult people; why shoul…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | They All Do It |
They All Do It “Collection of pieces by 19th Century columnist J. M. Bailey.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Miscellaneous Writings and Speeches of Lord Macaulay, Vol. I |
The Miscellaneous Writings and Speeches of Lord Macaulay, Vol. I “Oh Hercules! Oh Bacchus! This is too much. Here is an universal genius; sophist,--orator,--poet. To what a three- headed monster have I given birth! a perfect Cerberus of intellect…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Crome Yellow |
Crome Yellow “Ivor was gone. Lounging behind the wind-screen in his yellow sedan he was whirling across rural England. Social and amorous engagements of the most urgent character called him from…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Enchanted Typewriter |
The Enchanted Typewriter “"Yes," replied Boswell, "and we are having a--well, to be polite, a regular Gehenna of a time. Things have changed much in Hades latterly. There has been a great growth in the demo…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Mr. Bonaparte of Corsica |
Mr. Bonaparte of Corsica “Whatever came of the duel we are not informed; but it is to be presumed that it did not result fatally for young Bonaparte, for he lived many years after the incident, as most of o…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Pursuit of the House-Boat |
The Pursuit of the House-Boat “Sequel to House-Boat on the Styx, by John Kendrick Bangs.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Blockheads |
The Blockheads “Puff.: Damn them. I know the fellows by experience. I remember Bunker Hill. I shall never forget them for their civility to me. Their cocked eye taking fight makes my very blood ru…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date |
Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date “WIDOW, Merry, a dream who hung around Mr. Maxim's restaurant in Paris, made love to nobility, toured the world, and finally died. Death was caused by overexertion. Before the war s…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | A Rebellious Heroine |
A Rebellious Heroine “Osborne wasn't her sort, after all," he mused to himself that night over his coffee. "He hadn't much mind. I'm afraid I banked too much on his good looks, and too little upon what …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers |
The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers “I intend in a short time to publish a large and rational defence of this art, and therefore shall say no more in its justification at present, than that it hath been in all ages de…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Foolish Dictionary |
The Foolish Dictionary “LOBSTER The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast. The two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green, but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are v…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Quite a Lost Art |
Quite a Lost Art “We need scarcely explain that this procession was formed by Ruggiero's wild troop, and that the two leaders were the stern captain himself and the fair Bandelora, who, dissembling …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Ginx's Baby |
Ginx's Baby “Mr. Smug, the officer, rolled out this section in a sonorous monotone, without stops, like a clerk of the court. It was his pride to know by heart all the acts relating to his depa…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Terance, This is Stupid Stuff — A.E. Houseman |
Terance, This is Stupid Stuff “But oh, good Lord, the verse you make,/It gives a chap the belly-ache./The cow, the old cow, she is dead;/It sleeps well, the horned head:/We poor lads, 'tis our turn now/To hear s…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Unsex'd Females — Richard Polwhele |
The Unsex'd Females “Ill-received (in its day) poetical diatribe against Mary Wollstonecraft--who has perhaps since been vindicated (q.v.)…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Was Shakespeare a Barber? — Charles Veatch |
Was Shakespeare a Barber? “Subtitled: The Secret of the Bard's Private Life Revealed at Last…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | LADIES ALMANACK — Djuna Barnes |
LADIES ALMANACK “Oh Zeus! Oh Diane! Oh Hellebore! Oh Absalom! Oh Piscary Right! What shall I do with it! To have been the First , that alone would have gifted me! As it is, shall I not pour ashes u…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Guido the Gimlet of Ghent — Stephen Leacock |
Guido the Gimlet of Ghent “The sun sank and night fell, enwrapping in shadow the frowning castle of Buggensberg, and the ancient city of Ghent at its foot. And as the darkness gathered, the windows of the ca…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Perfect Behavior — Donald Ogden Stewart |
Perfect Behavior “The first thing to do on arriving at a symphony concert is to express the wish that the orchestra will play Beethoven's Fifth. If your companion then says "Fifth what?" you are saf…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Arcadian Adventures With the Idle Rich — Stephen Leacock |
Arcadian Adventures With the Idle Rich “Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins is not to be seen walking with them. She is probably at the race-meet, being taken there by Captain Cormorant of the United States navy, which Mr. Spillik…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Moonbeams From the Larger Lunacy — Stephen Leacock |
Moonbeams From the Larger Lunacy “The sales manager of the biggest book store for ten blocks cannot be deceived in a customer. And he knew, of course, that, as a professor, I was no good. I had come to the store, a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Condensed Novels — Bret Harte |
Condensed Novels “Harte's second published work, includes riffs on Charlie Reade, Charlotte Bronte, Fenimoore Cooper, Wilkie Collins, etc.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | New Burlesques — Bret Harte |
New Burlesques “Satirizes Anthony Hope, Sir Doyle, Kipling and Defoe, among others.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Shamela — Henry Fielding |
Shamela “Full Title: An Apology for the Life of Mrs. Shamela Andrews. In which, the many notorious Falshoods and Misrepresentations of a Book called Pamela, Are exposed and refuted; and all…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Nonsense Novels — Stephen Leacock |
Nonsense Novels “"I intend," he announced, "to try a bold, a daring experiment, which, if it succeeds, will bring us into immediate connection with the world of spirits. My plan is to leave two sov…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Observations by Mr. Dooley — Finley Peter Dunne |
Observations by Mr. Dooley “"'Th' appintment iv Judge Rufus Flush to be Chief Justice iv th' United States Supreeme Coort is hailed with delight be all citizens iv New Mexico. Judge Flush is th' recognized au…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Paste Jewels — by John Kendrick Bangs |
Paste Jewels “"Yes, he did," replied Mrs. Perkins. "I'd kept him in a chair for an hour because he would tease Tommy, and when finally I let him go I told him that he was wearing me out with his…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Frictional Electricity — Max Adeler |
Frictional Electricity “"And so, sir, it went on until Mrs. Muffitt she come down and said to Bella Dougherty it was time to shut the house up, and then I bid her good- night and told William to go home a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Mr. Dooley on the Pursuit of Riches — F. P. Dunne |
Mr. Dooley on the Pursuit of Riches “"An' there ye ar-re. Ye'll niver get money onless ye fix th' waither an' grab th' dishes away fr'm th' other passengers. An' ye won't do that. So ye'll niver be rich. No poor man i…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter — Pheleg Van Trusedale |
The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter “"I was anxious to keep this matter as quiet as possible, bearing the loss like a philosopher, and forming a resolution in my mind never again to be taken in by a New York general. …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Inebriety and the Candidate — George Crabbe |
Inebriety and the Candidate “Intoxication flies, as fury fled,/ On rooky pinions quits the aching head;/ Returning reason cools the fiery blood,/ And drives from memory's seat the rosy god./ Yet still he holds…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam Jr. — Wallace Irwin |
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam Jr. “And true as Star and Star pursue their Course/ Must Rapture crumb to Ashes of Remorse:/ How many a Marriage License that is writ/ Has proved a legal Permit to Divorce!/…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Satires, Epistles, and Art of Poetry — Horace |
The Satires, Epistles, and Art of Poetry “From an 1874 edition of the Connington translation. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this!…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Declaration of Independence in American — H. L. Mencken |
Declaration of Independence in American “WHEN THINGS get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Mohawks; a Satirical Poem — Lady Sydney Owenson Morgan |
The Mohawks; a Satirical Poem “When earth was young, e'er by a curious wife/ Tempted--seduc'd, unhappy Adam fell,/ (In our times, when the dev'l would breed a strife,/ He finds our neighbour's spouse a surer spe…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Devil's Dictionary — Ambrose Bierce |
The Devil's Dictionary “LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers -- particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | And Even Now — Max Beerbohm |
And Even Now “These foreign fellows always are especially to be commended. By the mere mention of their names you evoke in reader or hearer a vague sense of your superiority and his. Thank heave…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Seven Men — Max Beerbohm |
Seven Men “`What I had done was not merely base: it was very dangerous. I was in terror that she might rally him on his devotion to London. I didn't dare to move away. I was immensely relieve…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Yet Again — Max Beerbohm |
Yet Again “Yet, I know, many worthy folk would like the book blotted out of existence. These are they who understand and love the art of painting, but neither love nor understand writing as a…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Day of the Dog — George Barr McCutcheon |
The Day of the Dog “"You--you don't mean it," exclaimed Crosby in dismay. He saw a prodigious fee slipping through his fingers. "Gad, I must see her about this," he went on, starting down the ladder, …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Strange Tale of a Type-Writer — Anna C. Brackett |
The Strange Tale of a Type-Writer “"The experiment began, and every night the constant policeman sat patiently at the bedside of the unconscious man, watching for his slightest utterance. At his side he had pen and …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Washington Square Plays — Various |
Washington Square Plays “UNA. Now don't say a word until you hear the whole story. You read that article by Shaw in the Metropolitan, didn't you? I did. You remember what he wrote? "The best eugenic guide …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Aria da Capo — Edna St. Vincent Millay |
Aria da Capo “PIERROT: My only love, you are/ So fundamental! . . . How would you like to be/ An actress, Columbine?--I am become/ Your manager./…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Clockmaker — Thomas Chandler Haliburton |
The Clockmaker “Well, I'd been doin a little business there among the folks, and had jist sot off for the river, mounted on "Old Clay," arter takin a glass of Ezra's most particular handsum Jamaik…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Tobogganing On Parnassus — Franklin P. Adams |
Tobogganing On Parnassus “Your conduct, naughty Chloris, is/ Not just exactly Horace's/ Ideal of a lady/ At the shady/ Time of life;/ You mustn't throw your soul away/ On foolishness, like Pholoe--/ Her day…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Nature and Human Nature — Thomas Chandler Haliburton |
Nature and Human Nature “I shall never forget when I was up to Michelimackinic. A thunderin' long word, ain't it? We call it Mackinic now for shortness. But perhaps you wouldn't understand it spelt that wa…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Masterpieces Of American Wit And Humor |
Masterpieces Of American Wit And Humor “In the meantime strange things had been going on. When he caught hold of the first bee, Mr. Middlerib, for reasons, drew it out in such haste that for a time he forgot all about th…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Literary Lapses — Stephen Leacock |
Literary Lapses “"Oh, Henry, quick! Baby has snatched the pill!" It was too true. Dear little Gustavus Adolphus, the golden-haired baby boy, had grabbed the whole Christmas dinner off the poker chi…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures — Douglas Jerrold |
Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures “"Puddings, indeed! Do you think I'm made of puddings? Didn't you have some boiled rice three weeks ago? Besides, is this the time of the year for puddings? It's all very well if I …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | A Parody Outline of History — Donald Ogden Stewart |
A Parody Outline of History “Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this holl…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays — Floyd Dell |
King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays “VIVIEN. (lighting a cigarette) I don't know whether I'm so civilized, at that. You know me, Gwen. When I paint, do I paint like a lady?--or like a savage! (She does, in fact, appea…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Nonsenseorship — G. G. Putnam |
Nonsenseorship “I hope they're satisfied./ They can prove that the Johnstown flood,/ And the blizzard of 1888,/ And the destruction of Pompeii/ Were all due to alcohol./ They have it figured out/ …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Humourous Poetry of the English Language — James Parton |
The Humourous Poetry of the English Language “O thou grim mischief-making chiel,/ That gars the notes of discord squeel,/ 'Till daft mankind aft dance a reel/ In gore a shoe-thick;--/ Gie a' the faes o' Scotland's weal/ A towm…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | This Simian World — Clarence Day Jr. |
This Simian World “Our monkey-blood is also apparent in our judgments of crime. If a crime is committed on impulse, we partly forgive it. Why? Because, being simians, with a weakness for yielding to …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Ghosts I have Met and Some Others — John Kendrick Bangs |
Ghosts I have Met and Some Others “If we could only get used to the idea that ghosts are perfectly harmless creatures, who are powerless to affect our well-being unless we assist them by giving way to our fears, we …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | I and My Chimney — Herman Melville |
I and My Chimney “In those houses which are strictly double houses--that is, where the hall is in the middle--the fireplaces usually are on opposite sides; so that while one member of the household …” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | From the Easy Chair, vol. 1 — George William Curtis |
From the Easy Chair, vol. 1 “Honestus walked quietly home, perceiving that the result of his practical effort to discharge the primary duties of a citizen was that Sly, one of the most disreputable and dishone…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | The Attache; or, Sam Slick in England — Thomas Chandler Haliburton |
The Attache; or, Sam Slick in England “"What a scarecrow lookin' critter old aunty was, warn't she? She was all in rags and tatters, and though she lived 'longside of the lake the best part of her emigrant life, had nev…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |
| Various authors | Mr. Dooley's Philosophy — Finley Peter Dunne |
Mr. Dooley's Philosophy “"No,'tis no aisy job bein' a candydate, an' 'twud be no easy job if th' game iv photygraphs was th' on'y wan th' candydates had to play. Willum Jennings Bryan is photygraphed smili…” Read it free at Project Gutenberg Find old printed copies at the Internet Archive | |