Olive Garden Report--Ok I'm an Idiot for Going there

James K. wrote:
}Curtis, I detect a recurring theme in your posts about }North Carolinian cuisine... did you have a bad }experience with a tomato and a bottle of vinegar early }in your life? :-)

Nah. I just take the old adage to heart: "Write what you know". And, unfortunately, I know North Carolina cuisine very very well. But, yes, I was traumatized. Early in my 4.5 years there our group moved to the Burlington, NC, manufacturing plant (even though we were R&D on a Bell Labs project that required no manufacturing contact whatsoever). The *average* age of a Burlington employee when we moved there was 57, they were almost exclusively locals, and the cafeteria reflected their tastes. I will *NEVER* forget my first day at that cafeteria -- beef with quite literally a half inch of pure grease on top of the liquid in which it dwelled.

The local eating establishments weren't too much better. There was a local gyro/pita place that was more than serviceable (Kamal's, for any of you who know the place). But the locals viewed any food that was not salt and/or vinegar and/or grease laden with great suspicion. I believe that Burlington (?about 50,000 people?) got its first Mexican restaurant in 1987. I am not making this up.

I lived in Greensboro, which wasn't much better. There were the following general restaurant categories, starting at the most wallet-devastating:

1) Pompous And Ridiculous. "The Library" was a classic example. Extremely high prices, fake French accents, a sommelier who thought that 1977 was a better year for Dom Perignon than 1980 ("because it is older, you see", in pedantic tones). The waiter escorted my date to the restroom, arm-in-arm, despite her insistence that she did *not* wish this. And, after vile looks and near violence on her part going there, he still hung around to take her arm and lead her the 13 steps back to the table.

2) Merely Pretentious. "The Equinox" is a good example. Call a goat a chevre, salt it until it stops moving, cook it in a vat of greasy cheese, and charge $15 for it (15 years ago in an area with an extremely low cost of living). The waiters were appalled if you asked them to continue grinding pepper into your soup past the requisite 1 1/2 turns of The Grinder. Unfortunately I lived with someone at the time who loved such places.

3) Yuppie Hell. Bennigan's et. al. Places for young professionals, driving cars they can't afford and living in singles-only apartment complexes, to gather and eat like total pigs at the free bar buffet, then "suddenly" decide to go "somewhere else" for dinner once they'd gorged. And truly thinking they were being spontaneous doing this 3 Fridays out of 4. In all fairness, though, I must admit to some similar behavior at Casa Gallardo, except the waitresses *knew* we weren't going to eat dinner and we were never hipocritical enough to put our name on the waiting list for show. Hell, one of us even married one of those waitresses (Bog help him!). Also, I refuse to include Darryl's in the Yuppie Hell list, even though much of the clientele were Yup City and I hardly ever went there. I don't know why I feel this way.

4) A Few Good Places. There were some standouts that could be counted upon. Jimmy Contos still runs The Acropolis, and it is still as good as ever. No pretention, lousy cheap-Greek decor, great food. And only embarrassed slight catering to the local tastes, and you have but to ask to get The Real Thing from Jimmy and his mother, Eleni.

5) The Grease and Vinegar Pits. BBQ houses from the very bowels of hell EXCEPT you can usually get the meat before they've put That Sauce on it. Then it is wonderful if you're a carnivore. I grew up eating anchovies fresh out of the sea -- delicious light tasty little wonderful fishes. We always wondered what Holocaust-esque factory existed somewhere in Europe to turn anchovies into those horrid things you get on pizzas if you're not careful. I often likened NC BBQ to anchovies -- if you can get the meat after it is smoked but before they put That Sauce on it, before it goes through That Process, it is great. But afterwards, well, I suppose there are people raised with lutefisk or shiokara who like them, too. *shudder*

6) Fast Food. Natch. Can't get away from that in a county of 1,000,000 people.

}When it comes to spicy hotness (as opposed to
}temperature hotness), I find that popular places are }often totally lacking.  When I was in Washington, DC }over winter break, I made a point of getting to one of }the Thai restaurants that was highest ranked by }Washingtonian magazine.  The food was well-prepared, }but even though I specifically requested one of the }curries "hot!" it was sadly mild.  My dinner companions }were relieved, but I was disappointed.

I agree completely with your sentiment on popular places not being spicy. But next time you are in a Thai restaurant, look at the waitron meaningfully and say, "I want this really really hot. I want it *Thai Hot*." That is the magic phrase, and I have almost never seen it go unrewarded (or unpunished, depending upon your point of view).